Am I Going To Do This? I Think…Maybe, Just Maybe, Yes Maybe I Am Going To Do This!

This is a start- not a promise or uber commitment….just a start: optimistic- maybe, truthful- definitely, consistent- hopefully, flaky- probably (make that a definitely if we are really being self aware here!)

It’s a start…but of what? A blog, a journal, a diary, a “note-to-self” of this menopausal mess trying to carpe diem a bit of life that surely still exists within this mire of hot flushes, depression, beached whaleness, self doubt, anxiety, IBS, general exhaustion and lack of self in every possible way to experience a lack of self. It appears to be a sad fact that some of us sail through the menopause with little or no disruption to our days, our energy, our mood and motivation and somehow that translates to a lack of understanding or empathy for those of us who struggle with this transition to the next phase Mother Nature has in store as we move from Mother to Crone.

Mental health issues and a variety of diagnosis have been a part of my life for some years now, but I honestly expected menopause to be something to take in my stride, to embrace and just work through. I advised my girls in a similar way to the way my mother advised me as they passed from Child to Maiden with the advent of puberty- it’s life, it’s your womanity, yes it’s kinda a pain at times but accept, embrace and hug a hottie wottle bottle as necessary and always live your life. I wasn’t really expecting menopause to chuck a big fat curve ball at me!!

Oh my stars and whiskers! Mental health plummets, body weight soars, body image and self confidence crashes to an all time low, energy and motivation go absolutely AWOL, hair falls out, joints hurt, sleep eludes me like a will-o-the-wisp and quite frankly it all sucks a bit more than I anticipated!! There is more but it makes me miserable to have the list go on and on. Life changing barely even covers this transition- mentally I feel the loss of identity, physically I see the addition of double who I was and am comfortable being. My daughters are at the beginning of all that being a woman encompasses and I am sad that I am passing into a separate place. I don’t want more babies (four offspring is plenty for any single mamma)  but I mourn the loss of the potential  and I am shocked at how its impacting my sense of Me.tea n a book

 

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One thought on “Am I Going To Do This? I Think…Maybe, Just Maybe, Yes Maybe I Am Going To Do This!

  1. Caroline says:

    I will tell you what you told me! You are stronger than you know, you are loved and cared about.

    You have helped me so much with my own issues, mental and physical health wise – and I am so glad to know ya!

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